My grandfather always said, “Don’t watch your money; watch your health.” So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole all my money. It was my grandfather.
– Jackie Mason
My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”
The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song and they give him $100.”
The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon…and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”
From Henny Youngman, King of the One-Liners
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man’s chest. The man asks, “Doc, how do I stand?”
The doctor says, “That’s what puzzles me!”
The other day I broke 70. That’s a lot of clubs.
I have a lovely room and bath in a hotel. It’s a little inconvenient, they’re in two separate buildings!
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
My hotel room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Dr. Tedd Koren
Dr. Koren, originally from Brooklyn, NY, lives in Montgomery County, PA. A graduate of the U of Miami and Sherman College of Chiropractic, he writes, lectures and teaches in the US, Europe and Australia as well as takes care of patients and fights for healthcare freedom. Dr. Koren and his wife Beth have two children.
